The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Unpredictable Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a masterclass in unexpected absurdity. Every session is a unique adventure, filled with side quests that veer wildly from the expected. Here are some of the most ludicrous escapades I've encountered while exploring Bohemia. (Spoiler-free, focusing solely on the quirky side quests.)

Table of Contents:

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

Želejov, a charming town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? A complete lack of funds, instruments, and any discernible artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, ever the helpful soul, embarks on a quest to aid these aspiring musicians. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for their debt-ridden selves. After countless errands, their masterpiece? A soul-crushingly boring ballad about Henry's less-than-glamorous exploits. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh uncontrollably.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require the craftsmanship of Vojtěch, a hunter who, through a combination of alcohol and poor judgment, found himself tree-bound, facing a pack of wolves. The standard rescue involves carrying the injured Vojtěch back to camp, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. But what happens if you deliver him directly to the tavern, as per his (inebriated) request?

Image: ensigame.com

I chose the latter. The ensuing trek was... eventful. Vojtěch's gratitude? Minimal. He berated me, refused further assistance, and later offered me a "magnificent" view of his ramshackle abode as compensation.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

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The Polovtsians, responsible for a personal tragedy in Henry's past, are found causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly gave way to unexpected camaraderie. We drank, sang, and then, a talking dog appeared, launching into a philosophical lecture about life's purpose. Inspired (or perhaps intoxicated), I accepted his challenge: a lake swim. I survived, mostly through fits of laughter.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

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After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turned me into Bohemia's most wanted. A simple oversight – failing to remove incriminating accessories and the lingering scent of crime – led to a swift arrest (though I talked my way out of it). The game's attention to detail is truly remarkable.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

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Stealing a horse and attempting to sell it to the gypsy horse trader, Mikolaj, resulted in a hilarious chase scene and a lengthy wait for Mikolaj to finish his breakfast. Even minor escapades become epic misadventures.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

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These are just a few examples of the game's unique charm. Every action, no matter how insignificant, has consequences. The commitment to realism and immersion makes each playthrough a truly unforgettable experience. Bohemia awaits!